Top 10 Father Son Jokes - Lots of Laughs

by Ben
(California)

Father: Would you like a pocket calculator for Christmas, son?
Son: No thanks, Dad. I know how many pockets I've got.

Teacher: You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.


Father: Let me see your report card.
Johnny: I don’t have it.
Father: Why not?
Johnny: My friend borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.

A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died. "All right, son," asked the father, "what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."

“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.
“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.
After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
"I don't know, son. I'm still paying for it."

Son: Mom, yesterday when I was on the bus with dad, dad told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Good, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mom I was sitting on dad's lap.

Father: Why did you get such a low score in that exam?
Son: Absence!
Father: You were absent on the day of the exam?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!

Father: Whenever I beat you at chess, you don't get annoyed, how do you control your anger?
Son: I clean the toilet seat. With your toothbrush.

Father: "And why do you think it is necessary to be quiet in church?"
Son: "Because other people are sleeping."