The Joy of Being in My Fifties and Single

by Zebi
(Texas)

I never thought, especially at my age ,52, that being single would be joyful. I have to say that I had always thought that I was better when married or at least when with a significant other.

It has taken me the past two years to admit that being single at my age is not so bad and to tell the truth can be downright joyous.

I was married the first time for 24 years, had 3 children, two daughters and a son. Of course they are all grown now and have watched ,with focused eyes, as I divorced their father and went into what seemed, to them, like an attempt to regain my lost youth! I looked at it as trying to recapture the old me, or in other words trying to revert into the original me which I had lost in an abusive marriage of 24 years.

I eventually remarried some years later to a man, who had gone through a nasty divorce but was also 6 years my junior. This was a big mistake and we divorced only a year and seven months after we tied the very loose knot... ( loose on his part, I might add, if you know what i mean).

I can call myself single again now, for the past three years, this March, 2013. This leads me to what I have now found to be the joys of being single as a woman in her 50's.

It is very joyous to now know exactly what I do not want in my life. It is also a joy to be able to work on knowing what I do want without anyone over my shoulder trying to tell me what those things are!

I now have time for myself if I want or need it. I do not have to ask anyone's permission or listen to a lecture from anyone about why or how I should do the things I need or want to do. Let Freedom Ring!!!

I am now friends with my children. They are grown and although they need me at times for advice or to talk about the past or the family history... they no longer need me as a "Mommie"! I raised them and now they are making their own decisions and living with the consequences whether they be good or bad. Freedom is a very joyous thing and I have found that freedom at my age is very very nice.

There are many other things I like about being single at my age...not having to cook if I do not want to, keeping the house clean at my own pace without someone judging the way I do it every single time. I can wear the clothes I want and cut and color my hair without someone judging me every single time my hair has changed or my outfit is different from the boring normal. I can go out with my best friend anytime and do what I want without answering to anyone ( I never do ridiculous outrageous things that would shame or get me in trouble... not my style so that keeps the grown children I have from passing their little judgements over me) hehehe.

I know a lot of these freedoms or joys I am experiencing could be experienced by anyone at any age who is single, but this is the first time for me to experience them since I was married at a fairly young age and had never really experienced life out on my own before now. Whew!

In the end, I guess that the freedom to do anything without answering to anyone specific is equal to joy for me. Many other things do give me joy but at 52, my life seems less hectic, more enriched and enlightened than it ever was when I was obligated to answer to someone or others for my every little action! The joy I feel at 52 and being single makes me very thankful and I see life now as living and doing good for myself first so that I can do good for others... the right way.