The joy of being a human

by Roha Mumtaz Khan
(Lahore. Pakistan )

Ok, so my joy is that I am a human. I am alive and can enjoy my life according to me. There is no one to force me. I can see things according to my point of view. I have control over my body. Not only that, but I can see the beautiful sunrises and sunsets. I can see the stars and the moon. I can do what I love to do. So basically this joy makes me able to do and appreciate all the other joys. As a healthy human being, I have the joy to enjoy life at its best!

Here are some healthy human boundaries to consider if you are a people pleaser, struggle to find joy as a human being, or to find pleasure in the wonder of just being you:

1. Declining anything you don’t want to do.

2. Expressing your feelings responsibly.

3. Talking about your experiences honestly.

4. Replying in the moment.

5. Addressing problems directly with a person involved, rather than with a 3rd party.

6. Making your expectations clear rather than assuming people will figure them out.


Most people I meet, that are tired and stressed to the core, struggle to say "NO". It can have bad repercussions if at times you do not value your own personal space or time. This is how you say no, in a polite but firm way:

How to Set Boundaries - Saying No

1. Identify your boundaries

If you’re not clear where your boundaries are, identify people and situations that make you uncomfortable and where you need to practice boundary setting skills.

2. Identify your personal values

Boundaries are based on your unique personal values, in other words, knowing what is most important to you. If you are not clear about your personal priorities, list the life domains that are most important to you and where you will be most selective in accepting interference.

3. Practice saying no

Everyone has the right to refuse or decline to do something. You do not owe any kind of explanation if questioned. However, saying no is difficult for those of us who want to keep others happy or who worry about what others will think of us.

Saying no is a key assertiveness skill and essential for setting healthy boundaries.

Try practicing these ways of saying no that are confident and respectful. You can roleplay these with a therapist or counselor first, or use them the next time you feel uncomfortable and need to set limits- either in person, by email or text message.

■ “I’m not comfortable with this.”
■ “I’d rather not…. ”
■ “Please do not….”
■ “I can’t do that for you.”
■ “This doesn’t work for me.”
■ “I’ve decided not to…”
■ “This is not acceptable.”
■ “I’m drawing the line at…”
■ “I don’t want to do that.”

4. Reflect on how this made you feel

When we’re not used to setting boundaries with certain people or in specific situations, we might feel guilty, anxious, or even ashamed at first. This discomfort is to be expected when we are making changes to our behavior. Try leaning into any uncomfortable feelings and accepting them just as they are.

I hope you will find joy in being human, as they say, you are a human "being", not a human "doing". So just "BE", not "DO", as only other's please.

Live and Love YOUR life.

I would love to know what you do for fun and how you set boundaries to enjoy and love your life more in the comments below!