Short funny sayings

by Sarah
(United States)

I have a six pack…... OF OREO'S

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

My neighbors listen to great music... Whether they like it or not.

Nothing is impossible hey? Try slamming a revolving door!

Rolling your eyes huh?? It won't help, you won't find any brains back there.

Me bossy never! I simply know what you should do next.

You are not stupid. You just have bad luck when you think.

One of my friends was having trouble with shutting their locker when another kid at the next locker said "you need a hand" so my friend replied with a yes and the kid started clapping. I was in fits of laughter.

Leave a sign on your door:
I will be back in 5 minutes, if I'm not
READ THIS SIGN AGAIN.

They said "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it.

I'm so glad my winter fat is gone, now I have spring rolls.

Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

I balanced diet sounds like I should have a cupcake in both hands.

You know that little voice inside your head that tells you things you should not do, I don't have one.

My alone time is sometimes for your own safety.

What do people do with all the extra time they have by writing "K" instead of OK?

I eat cake just in case it is someones birthday somewhere.

I'm not fat, God gave me airbags cause I'm precious.

Doing nothing is so hard because you never know when you are done.

Every family has one weird relative, if you don't know who that is, it is probably you.

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

They say you learn from your mistakes, I should be a genius by now.

Pray for me? No please pray for my bank account.

I want that job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane.

Are you always a smart ass? Nope sometimes I'm asleep.

Not lazy, just in energy saving mode.