My diet currently... and other funny diet sayings

by J
(United States)

My current diet:

I am on a seafood diet...I see food and eat it.

Other Funny Diet Sayings

My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like – just don’t swallow it – Harry Secombe.

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you’re off it – Jackie Gleason.

Dieting is wishful shrinking. - Author Unknown.

If you really want to be depressed, weigh yourself in grams – Jason Love.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on – Jean Kerr.

I’m allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat – Jennifer Greene Duncan.

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie – Jim Davis.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster – Joe E. Lewis.

By the time I am thin, fat will be in. - Oprah.

My exercise is stretching the truth Jumping to conclusions, and running my mouth off. - Unknown Author.

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit. - Phyllis Diller.

More die in the United States of too much food than of too little – John Kenneth Galbraith.

Mood swings are the only exercise I get. - Unknown Author.

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble.

The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook – Julia Child.

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow ye will diet – Lewis C. Henry.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond – Mae West.

Be plain in dress, and sober in your diet; In short, my deary! Kiss me, and be quiet – Mary Worley Montagu.

I never diet. I smoke. I drink now and then. I never work out. I work very hard, and I am worth every cent – Naomi Campbell.

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon. -- Ellen DeGeneres

It’s okay to be fat. So you’re fat. Just be fat and shut up about it – Roseanne Barr.

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me. - Mark Twain.