FUNNY QUESTIONS
& ANSWERS
VOLUME 2

Here we go again... some more Funny Questions WITH Answers!


  1. How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done?
    He couldn't get it any worse!
  2. How do they get the dear to cross at the yellow dear road sign?
    They make it yellow so that the dear think it's a fruit when it gets there it sees it's a board then the dear sees another yellow fruit on the other side of the road!
  3. What is Atheism?
    A non-prophet organization!
  4. What does it mean when you say 4 out of 5 people suffer from constipation?
    The 5th one enjoys it!
  5. If deaf people go to court, is it still a "hearing"?
    No it's an assignment! 5 STAR Funny Question
  6. What color does a smurf turn when you choke it?
  7. When CHEESE gets ITS picture taken what does it say?
  8. What does Evian water mean?
    NAIVE spelling it backwards!
  9. What do you call it when a man with multiple personalities tries to kill himself? A Hostage situation! 5 STAR Funny Question
  10. Why do they serve round pizzas in square boxes?
  11. How does a deaf person think about what someone said? In little moving hands or words?
  12. Why is everything that goes by water "car"go and by land "ship"ments?
  13. How did Tarzan know he must shave if all the monkeys had beards?
  14. Why do people push the buttons of a remote harder when they know the batteries are flat?
  15. Do you call a snail without a shell homeless or naked?
  16. At what age do you start dying of old age?
  17. What kind of person decided (to squeeze those pink dangly things and drink whatever comes out!) to milk a cow?
  18. Why do people get mad at their dogs because they don't understand the language?
    Humans are pretty stupid because dogs understand several words in several languages but humans don't understand bark!
  19. If nothing sticks to Teflon how does it stay on the pan?
  20. Why don't they make the sticky stuff on envelopes in flavors?
  21. Why do they call it "apart"ments if they are stuck together?
  22. Who was the 1st person to eat a mushroom that popped out of cow poo after the rain?
  23. If it's better to be strong than weak why is "strong language" bad?
  24. What did they call Robin Hood's mom?
    Mother Hood! 5 STAR Funny Question!
  25. How can you sleep like a baby meaning its good if baby's wake up every 2 hours?
  26. If you can laugh your ass off does that mean big ass people don't laugh?
  27. If a mute swears do you wash his hands with soap?
  28. Why are there no daughter-in-law jokes?
  29. How do you treat someone that is addicted to therapy?
  30. What is Disney World?
    A People Trap put out by a Mouse! 5 STAR Funny Question
  31. If you arrest a mime do you tell him he has the right to remain silent?
  32. Why do ALL toasters have a setting that burns the toast if nobody eats burnt toast?
  33. What was Captain Hook called before the crocodile bit his hand off?
    Captain Hand!
  34. How do they tell a blind person in Braille: "Caution Hot" or "Do Not Touch"!
  35. Why do they call it Quick Sand if it is slow?
  36. Why do water bottles have ingredient labels?
  37. Why is a boxing ring square?
  38. Why are black boxes actually yellow and not called yellow boxes?
  39. What is the best thing you can do if most accidents happen within 5 miles from home?
    Move to a house 10 miles away!
  40. Why do people make loud SSSHHH noises when they want it to be quiet?
  41. Is it appropriate to say: Good morning (mourning) at a funeral?
  42. If you are missing and you see a reward on a milk carton with your photo on it - do you get the reward?
  43. Why do people say: "you know what" before telling you what "what" is?
  44. How do they feed little babies in China?
    With Toothpicks!
  45. Did Adam & Eve have belly buttons?
  46. Why is Iceland Green and Greenland Icy?
  47. If Santa knew who was good and who was bad why don't they use him in courts?
  48. Who was the 1st person that decided to eat the thing that came out of a chicken's ass?

Hope you had fun! Move on to the next Funny Questions!




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